vent

lately ive been putting myself in a situation where im getting hurt. i reached a point where i was so done with everything dealing with guys. i cant take putting up with them and everything. im so tired of dealing with them, feeling HELLA confused! first, i dont get how me doing my own thing still affects him. how am i supposed to live my life when we already settled this over & over again. Every DAY we argue same shit. . . there hasnt been ONE day yet where we did not fight. dont you see that? you're only making things worse between us, making me fade more away from you. Why cant you see that? I told you so many times yet its not getting in your head. second, how can i put myself in a situation of feeling confused and heartbroken at the same time. im just making things much harder on myself. I need to let all of this go & not let it get to me. I have to set my priorities straight, schoool first. Yet, how can i do that when all drama that im dealing with is affecting me so much to a point where everyday i rethink everything. I rethink how I am to supposed to be dealing with this situation. All i know is that im trying NOT to let it get the best of me, i know that i can be so much better than that. I may be expecting a lot from the situations im currently dealing with, but how can i not? when all we deal with during these situations deal with the future. "So what's going to happen" the question that i wish i can answer but i cant. the question that messes up my feelings and makes me feel vulnerable. the question that I HAVE TO let go & just put it all aside. why am i making things worse for myself =/

currently livin on a bumpy roooad that i hope will end sooon :(